December 2011
69 posts
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Dream - 28/12/11
I had a dream last night where i was with a young family and we were about to leave to go to the markets. The family was made up of people from different shows or something as far as i remember. I know the cleaner from my work was there… odd. Anyway so we left the house and because in real-life i’m always the last one ready and i always manage to forget something, they were all asking...
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I kind of adore George O'Malley.
And the actor who plays him, T. R. Knight.
George, in Grey’s Anatomy, is the kind of guy i want to be. Even with his awkwardness, he’s just so kind and caring. He might struggle at times but he eventually stands up for what he believes is right and is there for people, even if he barely knows them.
There are aspects of his character that i already relate to greatly, which is mainly a...
thejessmooney asked: Ack! I've been unable to get to my computer and my tumblr app won't let me do the ask thing, so I'm afraid my "merry christmas" is a tad late. But yeah, I hope your day was good, and that picture of yourself that you posted is absolutely breathtaking! O:3
156) Sometimes I feel like a boy, and sometimes I...
Trigger Warning - Regards self-harm
I went to give blood again last week and i had a bit of a crappy experience. Basically, i’ve been known to be a slow bleeder, it just happens that on occasion they struggle to get the blood to collect quickly enough. The nurse kept moving the needle to try and get better flow, then she asked another nurse to try before asking the person in charge to decide if it was worth stopping and just...
“Yet my manners are certainly peculiar, not all masculine but rather softly...”
– ” Anne Lister, Journals, 1820 (via daphythoughts)
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I was unusually dysphoric about being referred to...
As much as i dislike, no, hate appearing feminine and having curves etc, i usually don’t get affected so much by being referred to with female pronouns. That’s especially when i’m not binding or trying to pass as male.
But today, every time my nan or some other relative referred to me as “she”, i felt a little upset and uncomfortable. I actually cringed a few times....
When life hands you sourz, add lemonade.
I discovered there’s no WKD in the house, therefore i am drinking apple & cranberry sourz with lemonade. Yum.
catprince asked: your nose is a perfect angel
slipping-in-and-out-of-cynicism replied to your photo: Being a broody boy.
This kinda took my breath away!
That’s quite a lovely thing to hear! =)
Anonymous asked: God, you are attractive.
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femmeandrogyne replied to your post: femmeandrogyne replied to your post: I need all of…
I think we all get wrapped up in it. I, personally, have been lacking and craving intimacy too and I miss that. Sometimes the things that bother you might not bother other people! You’re a good person and it will happen sooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!
Well that sucks to hear! I hope you don’t have to...
femmeandrogyne replied to your post: I need all of this gender dysphoria stuff sorted out.
I understand to an extent, but if you find someone worthy of your time, then they will take it in a positive manner in terms of gender. I hope you do sort it out though, for yourself! :D Happy Holidays, by the way!
Thank you =) You make a very true point, i’m just in a place at the moment where i...
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I need all of this gender dysphoria stuff sorted...
I’m awkward enough as it is when it comes to meeting people and/or starting relationships etc without having to battle the complications of my gender and how they will take it.
It’s just constant decisions, dilemmas and awkwardness.
Anonymous asked: (Anon from before.) I'll try that. Hopefully I'll be getting a binder soon, I really can't stand myself without it. - Adrian.
jay9887 replied to your post: I only have about three shirts and one pair of jeans too. And I don’t have a binder yet -just bandages.
By the way… don’t google “pull up pants”. It comes up with a load of incontinence knickers! lol! The type I mean are these…. themagicknickershop.co…. my bad!
jay9887 replied to your post: I only have about three shirts and one pair of jeans too. And I don’t have a...
Anonymous asked: I only have about three shirts and one pair of jeans too. And I don't have a binder yet -just bandages.
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Not sure if this is a good/bad thing or what.
I’m not comfortable going out without my binder on and presenting as male or at least being extremely androgynous. Lately i really just don’t feel like i’m myself unless i’m hiding my curves and binding my chest.
I literally only wear about 3 of my shirts and have only one pair of jeans that i feel comfortable in. Because the other shirts are impossible to bind in and my...
thejessmooney asked: Hey you! How've you been? Are we ever going to get around to chatting? ;)
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I think i might like someone xD
But we’re in that slightly awkward area of just getting to know each other little by little, sort of flirting but sort of just joking around as friends do. Plus we only see each other twice a week at the most, which has stopped until after the new year.
I’d really love to get to know her a lot better before any serious flirting happens, but unless she...
A conversation me and my friend just had...
Friend: yh i know we are going out xmas eve for a curry but some of us are away for new years
Me: Ahhh i see, lucky for those ones! lol
Friend: yh it is cus they have something and someone to do lol
Me: Lmao lucky bastards, i want someone to do! lol
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“I’ll never be what you want I wouldn’t change any part of me just to make you stay You had a piece of my heart but not enough to just run away cause I know what’s best for me”
We Are The In Crowd - Never Be What You Want
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Dysphoria and fear.
I had another “jolt” of dysphoria today, courtesy of my colleague at work. No-one there knows about my gender dysphoria so i can’t exactly hold anything against them when they trigger it, they can’t help it at all.
All that happened today was that as i was leaving the building with one of my colleagues (who kindly takes me to and from work) and another colleague who was...
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So i woke up about 30 mins ago after a night out for my work xmas do and going town to see my old team. I’m now in absolute agony with my knee.
I have no idea what’s causing it but it feels like the growing pains i used to have in my teens. They were crippling at times and it used to affect playing football. Actually i still don’t know if it was actually growing pains or...
I’m going to go poke some eyes out if i see one more person on Facebook complain about or bitch about someone without just saying it to their face or at least naming names. Pisses me right off, why has communication come down to posting status’ on sites like that?
Sure, i discuss people in my life on here, but i use this as a place away from the nosey buggers of my Facebook to gather my thoughts...
My dad reckons i’m neophobic. I can’t help but agree a little.
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luckyfonziii asked: Let me love you for being a guy who likes anastacia!!
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I really want to bind but i’m about to go to bed and lately i start aching as soon as i put the damn thing on anyway. It stops aching after a while, but the relief i feel when taking it off shows how uncomfortable it actually is. Damn.
Anywho, on a positive note, i have a good feeling about the new year. I will get my ass into gear and start exercising more and taking care of my body...
I officially need to get laid ¬_¬
I came to this realisation this morning. For the first time in a VERY long time, i woke up and for some reason i was very much turned on. I was actually majorly gutted i don’t have a girlfriend or something that i could have woken next to because jeeeeeeeez i’d of had a VERY good morning! xD
It’s just odd because my dream had nothing to do with anyone i’m attracted to,...
So, i start writing lyrics about how i regret walking away from a relationship with someone i cared about a lot in order to protect myself, and i end up regretting writing the lyrics just as much o_O
I basically had to walk away because i was being hurt for a full month by them by being ignored and left to worry about them with no way of getting to see them. I asked time and time again what was...
thesebrokensongs asked: Well I didn't get the job sooo.. Terrible xD And I can only drink whiskey if I'm already drunk D: It's odd~ And I guess you should take your hat off to me then? XD
thesebrokensongs asked: Agreed.. 7am sucks majorly :3 But yeah other than the rain, it was worth it~ I don't usually get hangovers either.. I've only ever had one after a house party I had and I drank beer, jager shots then drank vodka like it was water >.< Plus I had a job interview the day of my hangover.. So fun ._.